You know what it’s like. You read The Guardian because it’s the nearest thing to a left wing newspaper you can find and you read it online because you know that, just once in a while, they actually post up an article by an actual woman who wouldn’t cry if you called her a feminist, or even a Feminazi, which addresses some small aspect of the misogynistic culture we’re steeped in. You want to read these articles because they’re a little bit of rolling countryside in the urban smog that is your feminist’s life. You tab through the article, nodding happily in agreement with the salient points made by the writer and by the end, you’re humming sweetly to yourself because suddenly the world just seems a little more, well, pleasant. And then you see the first comment. This will have inevitably have been ‘deleted by the moderators’ who then, seemingly, fall asleep with the air of a job well done. And you know that you shouldn’t keep going…and yet…the eternal optimism that keeps you from giving in and having breast implants and marrying rich gets you again. And you read the comments. And suddenly you realise that the lovely country field you’ve just been frolicking in is covered in cow shit and you trip over a badger with TB which will kill you if the idiots shooting the animals don’t get you first ‘by accident’.
Well, no more. You can now just say no, safe in the knowledge that you aren’t missing anything that isn’t covered by the wonderful EmilyBites in her Free Guide to Misogyny on Cif. The comments to any article you agree with will go exactly like this:
1) Be quiet, Guardian, you whiny little whiner
2) Sexism doesn’t actually exist, so shut up you bitches
3) OMG CENSORSHIP
4) Concern, concern concern trolling, I’m concern trolling…
5) My ex-wife was a bitch
6) Feminists want to castrate all men and corral them into little outdoor pens with no blankets
7) Slightly shirty concern trolling, concern trolling, drifting slightly into trolling
8.) Misandry is the same as misogyny you know
9) I’m actually a troll
10) Of course rape is bad but how can you ever have a reasonable conversation with women who want to include ALL NON-CONSENSUAL SEX in the definition of rape??
11) I’m a feminist and this place gives me hives. Good bye.
Gold, isn’t it? The only thing I would add – just to make it completely complete – would be 6a) I’m a woman and I hate feminists, so feminists are ergo full of shit.