but none of them to do with having not having kids, obviously, having been blessed (yes, blessed) with two of the snotsters. I was reading something the other day about how women ‘of a certain age’ are regretting their decision to ‘put their careers first’ (yawn). I forget exactly where it was but, hey, pick a Daily Male article at random and you’ll probably hit on a similar piece.
As I always do when reading this kind of crap, I snorted in disbelief at the whole concept. But then realised I don’t know enough childless women to really know if it’s true or not anymore. Or rather, I don’t know any childless women who are in an active state of wanting a child. Which I guess answers my question as to whether it is a piece of crap – i.e. it is in my neck of the woods.
But the whole concept seems bizarre to me, the idea that women in their mid-late 30s and early 40s are yearning for kids thhat they’ve forgot to have earlier. I can see that regret at childlessness could very well kick in eventually, say at 98 or so. Because you’d easily live to be 98 if you hadn’t had kids to help you into an early grave. I hold it as an absolute truth that childless people – women and men, but mainly women – live longer than those who have sprogged (I offer no evidence for this except the general prevalence of aged, spinster aunts – everyone has one somewhere). This is because you only die when you’ve felt ‘old’ for long enough to feel you’ve lived long enough and nothing, nothing makes you feel old like having kids. You’re early to bed and early to rise every frickin’ day just like your maiden aunt, because everything tires you and the prospect of a late night out feels like contemplating an Arctic expedition when you’ve always been a bit nesh. You know you’ll regret it at some point, so why bother? Even if you get a babysitter, you still won’t stay out late or get drunk because being tired and hungover with small children can, literally, kill you inside an hour. And you know it, too, having had a few close calls in the early years.
So there you are, 98 and still having to make your own tea, every single sodding cup, because you haven’t had kids who could now make one for you. And then, your regret about not having kids will be completely genuine – because the kids you never had will live in a townhouse in Notting Hill with a granny flat and a City bonus flicking two fingers at the credit crunch, instead of the real kids you would have had who would be too busy indulging their drug addiction in a squat to get on a bus and come see you. Regret then I get.
But regret at 30-something, 40-something? Aren’t you still out enjoying yourself then?? And if you’re not, you’re right, you should have had kids.